* A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
* A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
* Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
* Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
* Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.
* Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
* Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
* Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
* El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."
* Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.
* Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
* If you went to church in Texas years back, you'd better be recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise.
* In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor...and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine.
* In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
* In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length.
* In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday.
* In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
* In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.
* In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
* It is illegal to have an open container in a car.
* It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain
* It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
* It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
* It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn't blind.
* In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must come with an instruction booklet.
* In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.
* It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
* Jasper: Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars.
* Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
* Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
* Richardson: It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do "U Turns".
* San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
* Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
* Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
* Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
* There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
* You can be legally married b

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